"When A Good Girl Goes Bad"

   Age 22, attitude has completely changed. I wasa good companion who haad been a punching bag and just totally walked over for 4 years. I no longer care about a good girl status it only caused me pain. I have now accumulated my first felony, full of anger,bitterness, and heart is broken. I now promise me thaty I will lie down with men with no feelings and I promised  me that I will hurt them good or bad before I let them mistreat me. Now yes, I would have two men at the same time and take them for what I can get. I than realized that I could get even more money if I just cut out the dating and do whatever I may feel to do so. I began to dance, young ladies I want yo to understand when you go out into these streets, some of you it may take under for life where as some of you may pull through but I personally urge you not to go this way because you very well never come back. I am now stripping, doing private shows along the coastal area. I even develop my own group of ladies and began running my ownthing. I never needed a pimp, he didn't have what I had so why would I give him my earnings? Again young ladies, when you think that you are walking into just one world, you are actually opening the door to many other worlds. Business is good and at times could be overbearing at times . Let me bring to your attention, I am now prostitutiing alond with dancing and indulging in bi-sexualism. I am needing alcohol to keep me going but sometimes with drinking I did not want to complete what I set up to do. To keep focus on the gigs that were scheduled to assure I carry them out, I am now introduce to cocaine. This became a $100-$500 habit every night. Sleep all day, lurk in the night. My world is now twirling out of control. I'm looking at myself in the mirror asking"who is this girl"? I never knew her to be. Also during probation time on my first felony I caught at 19. The drugs I coulddn't stay away from so I quit reporting. I don't care about nothing or how anyone feels. I sign temporary custody of my daughter over to my  Mom to assur my daughter's stability all because, I am too far gone. I knew that I was too far gone but yet and still had so much anger with God I refused to reach out to him because in my muind it was his fault that I was where I was.. Drugs have now brough me to a place of somewhat poverty. Lose my place, no car, I would walked the streets with a bag on each shoulder. I had too much prode to go to anyone so far nights and nights if I couldn't get me a hotel room, I would just walk the streets. I began to break down. Broken and depressed I just felt worthless like there was no need to live any longer. I couldn't facemy family let along could I allow my child to see me in such misery. I now decide it is time for me to end this. More to come!!!