"When A Good Girl Goes Bad"

   Age 22, attitude has completely changed. I wasa good companion who haad been a punching bag and just totally walked over for 4 years. I no longer care about a good girl status it only caused me pain. I have now accumulated my first felony, full of anger,bitterness, and heart is broken. I now promise me thaty I will lie down with men with no feelings and I promised  me that I will hurt them good or bad before I let them mistreat me. Now yes, I would have two men at the same time and take them for what I can get. I than realized that I could get even more money if I just cut out the dating and do whatever I may feel to do so. I began to dance, young ladies I want yo to understand when you go out into these streets, some of you it may take under for life where as some of you may pull through but I personally urge you not to go this way because you very well never come back. I am now stripping, doing private shows along the coastal area. I even develop my own group of ladies and began running my ownthing. I never needed a pimp, he didn't have what I had so why would I give him my earnings? Again young ladies, when you think that you are walking into just one world, you are actually opening the door to many other worlds. Business is good and at times could be overbearing at times . Let me bring to your attention, I am now prostitutiing alond with dancing and indulging in bi-sexualism. I am needing alcohol to keep me going but sometimes with drinking I did not want to complete what I set up to do. To keep focus on the gigs that were scheduled to assure I carry them out, I am now introduce to cocaine. This became a $100-$500 habit every night. Sleep all day, lurk in the night. My world is now twirling out of control. I'm looking at myself in the mirror asking"who is this girl"? I never knew her to be. Also during probation time on my first felony I caught at 19. The drugs I coulddn't stay away from so I quit reporting. I don't care about nothing or how anyone feels. I sign temporary custody of my daughter over to my  Mom to assur my daughter's stability all because, I am too far gone. I knew that I was too far gone but yet and still had so much anger with God I refused to reach out to him because in my muind it was his fault that I was where I was.. Drugs have now brough me to a place of somewhat poverty. Lose my place, no car, I would walked the streets with a bag on each shoulder. I had too much prode to go to anyone so far nights and nights if I couldn't get me a hotel room, I would just walk the streets. I began to break down. Broken and depressed I just felt worthless like there was no need to live any longer. I couldn't facemy family let along could I allow my child to see me in such misery. I now decide it is time for me to end this. More to come!!!

The Roller Coaster of Life Begins...

    Age 18, I became involved with a 25 year old man who had just finished a 5 year prison sentence. True enough, I jumped out into the streets early but my status as a female still remained "Good Girl." I always took the lack of not having my biological father  to heart even though my step father whom I consider dad has no biological children stepped up to the plate wholeheartedly, also mentally. I would push him away just because he wasn't the man that birth me. Now I am in this relationship, he tell me he loves me and I go head first engulped into his everything becoming pregnant and this is when the beatings began. I could no longer be around my family that I've known for life. If I stayed around my family too long that was a beating. When I would see my friends I would just hold my head down because if I would speak or conversate I would be accused of something and then, that was a beating. I cannot count the black eyes, bruised ribs, and knots I would get over and  over all because of the wrong he was doing to me. My daughter Nyriantie is born, I continue to remain in this abuse until she turned 2. He came home from being out with someone else all night in my vehicle causing me to be late for work. As I sat Indian style on the floor holding our daughter and questioned him on the situation that was at hand he went into a rage pulling out a pistol and preceded to pull the trigger( me still holding our daughter). Only God and God alone allowed the gun to jam up because he aimed right for my head. I knew then that there was no way on earth I could continue to hold on to this relationship it could cost me my life ,and I had a child to be here for if not anything else. The next day I packed our things, walked out the door, and never looked back. I'm stopping here for now wanting the fathers to think about the effect you can cause you daughter or son by neglecting them. Stay tuned, there is plenty more to come...

The Rebellion

       I come to you to share my story, my testimony, my victory, and God's glory. I was raised in the church from birth in which I stayed in church at all times. Never really attended school functions, hang out with friends, or even go to community dances as most kids would get the chance to do. Being raised up in a lifestyle of this manner seeing what you so called saints ( not every saint) become contradicting to the law of Christianity struck up a very strong spirit of rebellion in me. By the age of 13, I had already begun drinking and smoking marijuana. Also, I was already a clubbing it out. By the age of 15, I added cigarette smoking, and began to immerse into the lifestyle of hustling. Due to the fact of not undersanding my parents and my parents not understanding me, I felt as if there was an abundant amount of love in the streets. Oh yea," street life, " I was all the way in at such a young age. In my mind there was no other life for me. Now at age 17, you can now consider me a statistic. I am officially a high school drop out. I am going to stop here for now before we get any deeper. There is much more to come.

I Am An Overcomer

Life is rough. The days of our lives are filled with joy, and pain, sunshine, and rain. But, we are
overcomers in Christ. Sometimes this is difficult to see because Satan, the accuser, works overtime to
keep us on edge. He tries to kill our dreams. He tries to distract us by making us think that we lack
what we need, and that it is impossible for us to maximize our potential.
Whenever something crazy happens in your relationship or life, just know that Satan is behind it. He
can’t stand it when brothers and sisters get along. He knows that when we are in one accord, nothingcan stop us. He has so many people convinced that they will never be able to make it again. Satan is a liar and God is a restorer. Satan has some of you believing that you are under his feet, but you need to believe that he is under ours.
Do not believe him, Satan is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44. We are not his primary targets, he
is really after God. It’s no secret that Satan is a defeated foe. He is trying to wreak as much havoc as
he can before his reign is over. Satan is not equal to God. He cannot do all of the things that he is
doing except by permission. You don’t have to listen to the enemy. You don’t even have to let him
into your space.
As our text makes clear, Satan has been on the defensive. John shares with us visions of things to
come and things that have already taken place. Two wondrous signs are depicted in the text. The
woman was clearly Israel. The male child is Christ. The dragon is the devil. The red is symbolic of
death. Satan was trying to snatch or devour the child before it was born. There were always dragons
after Jesus; seeking to destroy him. Satan will use anything and anybody to destroy God’s people.
You just need to be aware so you don’t get caught up. Too often, we go after folk, thinking they are
the culprits. But we wrestle not against flesh and blood….
You just need to be discerning, don’t be confused. Satan will cause sickness in your body; he will
cause confusion in your relationships. Dragons! We are unmasking the masquerader today. We will
not give the enemy any more power and authority than he has. What Satan and others meant for evil,
God meant for good. The cross on which Jesus was crucified, was Satan’s defeat. He had once been
in the court with God, but he was kicked out of heaven.
Satan became the prince of the earth when Adam and Eve lost their dominion. The ultimate victory
that Jesus had won over Satan could only be won in the flesh. Victory over Satan could not take place
until the righteous requirements of the law were fulfilled. The wages of sin are death, but the gift of
God is eternal life.
Jesus came to earth, born of a woman and born under the law. He obeyed the law wholeheartedly.
When he shed his blood, he was uniquely qualified to die in our place. He fulfilled the requirements
of the law. When he got up, he had done to death what death does to everybody else.
While he was there, he took the keys that held the people captive, and set them free. And from then
on, we have all been free. Col 2:13-15 At the cross, Jesus not only saved us from our sins, he also
took away Satan’s authority. Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our
God and the authority of his Christ. They overcame him by the blood of the lamb and the word of
their testimony…Rev. 12:10-12. the destruction of the devil, was because of the blood of the lamb.
Satan can still come and go as he wants, but with no power. Once it became clear that he had no
power, he had to come up with another scheme to hold us captive.
He loves to accuse us. He did that to Job; remember? Now that we have been redeemed by the blood,
our salvation is secure. And we have an advocate when the accuser stands before God. Jesus gives us
victory over Satan in every area of our lives. Temptation can no longer snare us. If we are going to
walk in overcoming power we must understand…
There is no victory without conflict. We live in enemy territory. You are different; you are not
like everybody else. You have to see the enemy coming. If Satan makes you an offer, you can’t
refuse; resist him. We have to learn how to fight. You have to go into the world, like you go into
battle. Go in the power of the Holy Ghost.
You have to beat the enemy at his own game. If he tells you that you are sick, you say I am healed by
the blood of Jesus. You have to learn how to be militant. We are the church of the living God.
Greater is He that is in us, than he that is in the world.